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Looking back now, I can see that I was always going to be a therapist. I just didn’t know it until halfway through my Master’s in Social Work program. I originally imagined myself in the medical field, maybe in a hospital setting. But after ten years as a trauma therapist in Northern Virginia, working with clients across Fairfax, Arlington, and Alexandria, firmly rooted in a relational, trauma-centered approach to therapy, I can see that this has always been my calling.
As a child, I remember thinking nothing sounded better than a job where you sit all day and talk to people. As a teenager and young adult, I devoured memoirs. I’ve always loved hearing people’s stories. And really, what is therapy if not learning someone’s story, helping them understand their narrative, and walking beside them as they write a new chapter?
Being a trauma therapist requires lifelong learning. To do this work well, especially complex trauma and CPTSD treatment, we have to resist stagnation and stay open to evolving. I am no stranger to the stack of dense clinical books on my nightstand that I am absolutely, completely going to read someday. But let’s be honest, reading heavy theory at bedtime is rarely the vibe.
So instead, I’ve put together a list of influential and readable books that have shaped my trauma training, deepened my understanding of relational therapy, attachment, and relationships, and changed how I show up, both as a therapist and as a human.
Books That Shaped How I Practice Therapy
The Gift of Therapy — Irvin D. Yalom
As Yalom writes, “Therapy is a gift, not only for the patient but for the therapist as well.”
This book shaped my understanding of the therapeutic relationship. Yalom’s honesty about countertransference and his willingness to examine his own blind spots gave me permission to do the same. I’ve carried that lesson through some of the hardest professional moments of my life, like conflict, feedback, and rupture. Each one has been an opportunity for growth.
If therapy is relational at its core, then we, the therapists, are always part of the work.
Sometimes Therapy Is Awkward — Nicole Arzt
I was deeply intimidated when I first became a therapist. My early years in community mental health felt like a daily crash course in humility and the question, “Do I actually know what I’m doing?”
I wish this book had existed back then. When I read it during the early years of my private practice, I felt genuinely soothed. Maybe therapy is messy. Maybe I don’t need to be polished and perfect. Maybe my awkwardness and humanity are not liabilities, but strengths.
Authenticity is more powerful than performance. That realization changed everything.
Man’s Search for Meaning — Viktor Frankl
Nothing has shaped my understanding of suffering and resilience more than this book.
Frankl’s idea that the primary human drive is not happiness, but meaning, fundamentally shifted how I think about trauma therapy. When clients are navigating profound pain, I don’t promise happiness, but I do believe in the pursuit of purpose.
When the work feels heavy or the world feels dark, this question anchors me:
What is within my control? What meaning can be made here?
Books That Deepened My Understanding of Trauma
Trauma and Recovery — Judith Herman
A seminal text in trauma therapy.
Although I was assigned this in graduate school, it wasn’t until I revisited it during my training at the Center for Post-Traumatic and Dissociative Disorders in Washington, DC that it truly landed.
Herman’s stage model of trauma recovery — safety, remembrance and mourning, reconnection — continues to guide both my clinical work and my teaching. Trauma treatment is not linear. It is layered. Each phase builds on the last to help restore integration in people who have been fragmented by trauma.
Good Morning, Monster — Catherine Gildiner
This book sits beautifully between memoir and clinical reflection.
It is not an easy read. The stories are graphic and painful. But bearing witness matters. Especially when we are talking about childhood trauma, systemic abuse, and atrocities like the Residential Schools in Canada and the erasure of Indigenous culture.
What stays with me most is this: never underestimate client resilience. Clients are the ones doing the healing. We simply have the privilege of walking alongside them.
What My Bones Know — Stephanie Foo
One of my mentors often says, “Everything I have learned, I have learned from clients.”
This memoir offers the perspective of someone living with complex PTSD. It is honest, layered, and culturally grounded in a way that many clinical texts are not. The intergenerational and cultural components of trauma are particularly powerful, and an important reminder for white therapists (like me) to remain humble and curious.
No one teaches trauma better than those who have lived it.
Books That Changed How I Think About Relationships
Insecure in Love — Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD
This book challenged me personally and professionally.
Attachment styles are formed early, often outside of our control. But they are not fixed. That message has brought so much hope into my work with clients navigating anxious attachment, relationship insecurity, and fear of abandonment.
Healing happens in relationship. Secure attachment can be built in adulthood. That’s why relational work is so profoundly worth it.
The Ethical Slut — Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy
When I began specializing in sex-positive psychotherapy and ethical non-monogamy (ENM), this was my first stop.
A foundational piece of feminist literature, this book reframes love as abundant while acknowledging that time and energy are finite. It challenges scarcity thinking around intimacy and invites intentionality around boundaries and agreements.
I have recommended this book to nearly every client curious about ENM, and it appears on the bibliography of every one of my sex-positive psychotherapy CE courses for clinicians. Just read it.
More — Molly Rodden Winter
I may or may not have convinced my suburban mom book club to read this memoir, and it sparked quite the conversation.
It’s imperfect. She’s imperfect. The relationship is imperfect. And that’s what makes it interesting. It takes ethical non-monogamy out of counterculture spaces and into the mainstream. A cis-het white mom in Park Slope navigating non-monogamy within her marriage.
It’s messy. It’s human. It’s real.
Trauma Therapy and CPTSD Training for Therapists
If you’re a therapist looking to deepen your trauma training, expand your understanding of CPTSD, or strengthen your relational therapy skills, I hope you’ll pick up one of these books.
At Good Company Therapy Group, we also offer continuing education courses and trauma-informed trainings for therapists across Northern Virginia and beyond.
From Learning to Doing the Work
The books above have deeply shaped how I think about trauma, relationships, and healing. But the most important learning happens in the therapy room itself.
If you’re seeking trauma therapy in Northern Virginia, our team at Good Company Therapy offers relational, trauma-informed care for individuals navigating trauma, complex PTSD, and relationship challenges.
